ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
