Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
