he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Found the puke drawer
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
