Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
