First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
