ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
