So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
