she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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