You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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