I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
