He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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