summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
