i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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