its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
