she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
