Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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