I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
