I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
