The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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