Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
