And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
