I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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