I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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