Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
