I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
