One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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