What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
