i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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