Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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