Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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