You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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