I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
