Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
