just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
