What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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