your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
