I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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