He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
