Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
