whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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