I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
