But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
How does one acquire holy water?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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