so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
