good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
