Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
sex in a hospital.. check
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
