i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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