Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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