What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
