i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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