its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
