do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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