Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
