so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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