he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize