I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
