How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
