I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
