he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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