I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So squirting runs in the family.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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