Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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