Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
